I flush summer down the drain I rush to the next season I want to feel you Leave for a reason All I want is to feel final To scrape this year from underneath my nails Grief exits my body It feels nice to fail Maybe I can still keep my giddy After all, it was a gift The rain stopped pouring when I let go And I thanked the moon for the blessed shift My dog couldn't walk up the stairs Unless three people cheered him on We talked to each other through him And now he's gone Maybe we can learn to speak kindly Without his tummy turned towards the sun Misery has left me like everybody I looked back there was nothing to outrun Maybe kindness is not a virtue But rather just a place to rest your head The summer of keeping everything I could alive The summer we talked shit and laid in bed Maybe kindness is not a virtue (all I want is to feel final) But rather just a place to rest your head (there was nothing to outrun) The summer of keeping everything I could alive The summer we talked shit and laid in bed

We give our ghosts the names of the months they died in I drench my ache in turtle pond, the headlights knight me Poseidon We'd dance around the gym, we'd lay down so sweaty I miss your flailing limbs, your curiosity Bruce called my dad Benjamin, that never was his name I drowned out my shaking house with computer games The holidays brought fighting, like Noah brought the flood I've got skin so that thick that bugs forsake the blood My dad didn't let me say that I loved him more A competition darling ain't what love is for The art is already in the room, you just have to find it God you're such a dork, love I've never ever minded

Distance activates my panic The neighbor found her cold God is on vocal mic 3 His jokes are getting old And I was proud to survive Things I’m forced to relive I loved people who were fool’s gold Took all that I could give The sprinklers drained all the ink From my favorite bookstore The winter is always colder Than we give ourselves credit for Sweetheart love me through the nights That ended long ago Somewhere in me sisters fight about clothing they borrowed The sprinklers drained all the ink From my favorite bookstore The winter is always colder Than we give ourselves credit for The stress is mounting like a fog I cannot see the sea Oh water-lover, if you’re there Please call out for me The sprinklers drained all the ink It’s running down my skin The time has come to decide Whether to sink or swim The fire would have never stopped if the rain hadn’t poured The winter is always colder than we give ourselves credit for The winter is always colder than we give ourselves credit for

Dissociation looks good on me Dissociation looks good on me I sip humiliation like herbal tea I sip humiliation, get away from me I didn't want an invitation anyways I never could keep up with Sleater Kinney gays Our whole generation is at that party Dissociation looks hot on me I have a hunch that the show is already over I have nowhere to go but down This body is way too fucking demanding This body will not be the last one standing Dissociation hasn't showered in a week Dissociation has renamed me freak I sip humiliation (can I bum a cig?) invisibly Everybody tells me I brewed that tea I didn't need your validation (do you work at pavement?) anyways I never could keep up with (get to the gig!) Sylvan Esso gays I'm terrified that you might try to kiss me (message me the addy!) Dissociation looks hot on me (hot rock!) The criticism for me outweighs the praise I never could keep up with Lady Gaga gays I sip humiliation like herbal tea I sip humiliation, please don't leave I have a hunch that the washing machine is broken My brain spirals back to my hometown This body is way too (this body's fucked up) fucking demanding (can't seem to get up) This body will not be the (this body's fucked up) last one standing (I think I'm dying) (this body is way too fucking demanding, this body will not be the last one standing) I would really love, to go and see your show, I'm convinced I am a poser whole generations at, that party have a hunch, that the song's already over

after therapy, leaves me undone in a cash-only diner, where the waitress calls me hun the kind of place where the workers never change where some person that’s long gone brought you cuz it felt safe don’t know how to get up in the morning to swallow the sidewalk and all its cracks to not translate life into warning to admit I am never coming on a Sunday morning, I woke up from a storm but we giggled in the kitchen and you cooked us something warm then humiliation woke, reared it’s selfish head yelled remember that I live here and demanded to be fed don’t know how to get up in the morning to swallow the sidewalk and all its cracks to not translate life into warning to admit I don’t know how to get up in the morning to swallow the sidewalk and all its cracks to not translate life into warning to admit I am never coming back after therapy, leaves me undone in a cash-only diner, where the waitress calls me hun I fuel this stubborn body with its wiry arms, with its loopy hair, and it’s faulty alarms