1. |
Vanilla Vixen
03:12
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wrap my blood up
so it doesn’t scare my roommates
though they never take
out the bathroom trash
put my hair up
show off my baby face
please hold my hands
so I don’t scratch
I babysat you cuz your mom didn’t trust
boys to take care of your reputation
I sat there a dyke in suburban night
as they soaked up your Vanilla Vixen
wrapped my chin up
when I scraped the pavement
sang the gauze off
at the recital
put my foot down
to make a statement
but the only thing gained
was exile
you tried to raise me from naivety,
show me the only love that exists here
afraid of the guys, wanting you the prize,
was I wrong in trying to save you?
I babysat you cuz your mom didn’t trust
boys to take care of your reputation
I sat there a dyke, a suburban knight
as they soaked up your Vanilla Vixen
your Vanilla Vixen
wrap the night up
and the boys will hate me
for stealing their only
chance at touch
put your lights on
lock your windows
worship only leads
to being crushed
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2. |
Man
04:06
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the television tells me
that he was born to quell me
to be the first to teach me
I have value
so I pick him out at recess
and he treats me like an abscess
and I never know what
I said wrong
I want a man to save me
I want to save a man
I want to be as simple as the television’s plan
four years ago, we got rights
but something is still not right
I spent twenty years desperate for the hollow of a man
once he was a small thing
but he grew a liquor liver
and then turned his body blockade
I wanted to turn him soft
and let him break me as a thank you
I am lucky we were both too afraid
I want a man to save me
I want to save a man
I want to be as simple as the television’s plan
four years ago, we got rights
but something is still not right
I spent twenty years desperate for the hollow of a man
I am best at longing for that which
never happened, paint illusions
give myself the creeps
men don’t let themselves love me
not cuz they are above me, they’re just scared
I’ll brush their hair and kiss their cheeks
I dreamt you up, my love
climbed inside your laugh, forgot how to breathe
maybe it’s foolish, my love
to believe we’d get out unscathed
trusted your hands, my love
to bloom into fields, at the sight of new life
wept when you snapped, my love
never a word more hated than wife
I want a man to save me
I want to save a man
I want to be as simple as the television’s plan
four years ago, we got rights
but something is still not right
I spent twenty years desperate for the hollow of a man
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3. |
Pathways
03:53
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we picked august off the vine
trapped a frog inside a jar
I broke too hard and fast
soared above my handlebars
I will stop showing up if it means
better things will come
I will make my grave lay in it
bury my green thumbs
can you misunderstand me
a little more sweetly
there’s still a few hours left in the day
cuz I don’t know how to cry
anymore discreetly
traffic stops in my neural pathways
now I am afraid of bikes
the ditch at the street’s end
the red death I’m roaring towards
the sirens apprehend
can you misunderstand me
a little more sweetly
there’s still a few hours left in the day
cuz I don’t know how to cry
anymore discreetly
traffic stops in my neural pathways
when I misunderstand you
I’ll call it a breakthrough
tell myself you still want me around
when I misunderstand you
I’ll call it a breakthrough
tell myself you still want me around
but illusions are safer
when made out of razor
so I’ll stay out your way and shut down
can you misunderstand me
a little more sweetly
there’s still a few hours left in the day
cuz I don’t know how to cry
anymore discreetly
traffic stops in my neural pathways
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